Parenting 101

What do I know about parenting? Not really a whole lot but somehow Amie and I have managed to keep Addi alive, happy and healthy for almost three years now. It’s amazing to me to think that I have been a father for nearly three years. Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital. Now, in just a few weeks we will be bringing Emily home. Our route to the hospital will be a little different this time, Amie has assured me she has a much quicker route that doesn’t include any stoplights. So, I’m sure she will be trying to force to me to break the law by speeding and running stop signs. Plus, this time I will have a bag already packed and I’ll probably start shaving daily so we avoid an instance like last time.

Now, back to the parenting part. Probably the hardest part about being a parent to me is drawing that ever so thin line between being a friend and being a father. Everyone wants their child to listen to them and behave. Everyone wants their child to be respectful and mind their manors. Those are the things you hope for when raising a child. But how much time do you actually want to spend disciplining and getting onto them? Do you want the time you spend with them to be fun and full of happy times or to be spent in timeout and with tears? I mean think about it, in the average American family it takes both husband and wife working in order to pay the bills and put food on the table. That means that many families turn to daycare to raise their child. That’s 40 hours a week you are trusting daycare to instill in your child all the qualities that you hope to see. You lose all that valuable time each day with your son or daughter and when you pick them up from daycare are you really wanting to spend that time getting on to them. That’s the hard part for me. I want to come home from work and play with play-doh or be a pony, I don’t want to come home and have to hurt her feelings by putting her in timeout or getting onto her for something silly. I think a lot of time parents get caught up in trying to mold the perfect child and they forget that their child is only 2 or 3 or whatever their age may be, they are still just a child. You’ve got 18 years to try to teach them everything you can and help them become the best person possible, no need in trying to cram that all into a couple of years.

What brought all this to mind? This morning, while doing my morning workout, Addi woke up a few times. She rarely wakes up that early but today was the exception. Today’s workout was a good one. I like the workouts where you’re turning out a fairly high amount of wattage and holding it. It makes me feel like I’m really working and I love watching the kilojoules add up. Anyway, at 1 hour 11 minutes into my workout, I had just finished my first rep and was about 8 minutes into recovery, Addi woke up screaming. Not a normal cry, but screaming. I thought she had fallen off the bed or something, so I jump off my trainer and ran in the house as quickly and quietly as you can with cleats on. My eyes hadn’t yet adjusted from walking into the pitch-black darkness of her room and I couldn’t tell where the crying was coming from. I was scared I would step on her and know from experience that it kind of hurts when someone steps on you with their cycling shoes on. So, I made my way very carefully to her bed and felt around. There she was, just sitting there crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said, “It tickled me.” I’m not sure what she was dreaming about or what stuffed animal brushed up against her while she was sleeping but that wasn’t the response I was expecting. I got her calmed down and then patted & shh’ed her back to sleep. I’m not sure why but patting and shh’ing her always seems to make me more tired than it does her but falling asleep while standing isn’t something I’ve mastered yet. Anyway, while patting her, I got to thinking about how lucky I am to be able to spend that time with her. Pretty soon, she’s not going to want her daddy to pat her back to sleep. I’m guessing at some point that just isn’t going to be cool. When you think about it, it’s all those little moments that come and go so fast that really are some of the most special.