A.C. - Andrew Chasteen not Slater

I just want to take a second and point out the Cycling Picture of the YEAR!

This photograph is killer. The perspective and composition are perfect. The blues are beautiful. I've looked at this pic over and over again since the first time I saw it. The main subject is my teammate Ryan and I'm guessing, if Ryan is anything like me, this picture is going to be blown up as big as he can get it and hung proudly somewhere at his house.

Andrew amazes me everytime I see his new stuff. His photos were already great but it seems like he is constantly developing as a photographer and things just keep getting better.

I was just telling Amie last night about my buddy Andy and how if there was anyone I was ever jealous of it would be him. The guy is an amazing photographer, a cyclist, a marathon runner, an ultra marathon runner, a rock climber, a successful business man and who knows what else he is good at but damn it he has a hot tub on his roof and I don't. Andy is a guy who is experiencing life and it's awesome to experience a little bit of his life through his blog and website. If you don't know Andy, get to know him. Check out his blog or if you're interested in letting him capture a little bit of your life from behind the lense check out his website.

No, I don't have a man crush!

Saturday

This is none of the posts I promised to write about in my last blog entry. I promise those are still to come.

The past few days have been great and I wanted to write a little about them before I forgot.

Let's start out with Saturday morning. This past weekend was a big weekend of racing, either in Texas or in Kansas. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go but I was able to hook up with one of my teammates, Ryan Lenhart, on his way to work at Bicycle Alley. I had a great ride with Ryan. I've known of Ryan for the last couple of years and this year I have the opportunity to race along side him. Despite us being on the same team I really haven't had a lot of time to get to know Ryan besides talking with him at the shop and what little time we have before our races. So, getting to spend an hour with him on the road and just talk about life was really awesome. I really enjoy riding with my new teammates so any opportunity I have to get to know them a little better is great.

After my ride, my beautiful wife and I actually had the chance to spend some quality time together. Quality time for just the two of us is a hard thing to come by now days. We were able to knock out some spring shopping for Amie and enjoy a nice quiet lunch. It's been a while since we've went to see a movie so we decided to go see the movie "Obsessed." The funny thing is that anytime we are North side and go see a movie Amie always wants to go to Tinseltown. I'm not a huge fan of Tinseltown, because that's the first place I ever got stood up on a date, but Amie likes it. So, we pull into the parking lot and notice that there are a lot of non-caucasians in the parking lot. Just trying to be funny I told Amie that they were all there to see Obsessed because it has Beyonce in it and they all want to support a Sista. Well, that little remark came back to haunt us as soon as we walked into the theater. By the time the movie started, and it was almost sold out, there were like six tanless people there, including us. It definitely made the movie more interesting, especially at about half way through the movie as all kinds of shouting erupted from up front in what sounded like a fight about to start. No one in the theater had a problem hollering back at them and telling them to be quiet, it was like one giant family reunion or something. Right after the movie, apparently those people yelling at each other had some unfinished business and the cops swarmed the theater as a fight broke out. This just might be our last Tinseltown experience.

We then had the privilege of having dinner with Zach (my other teammate) and his wife Kelly. We all met up at the Cheesecake Factory and had a great time. Thanks to the wind and our waitress Zach got some kind of Gin shower but took it way better than I probably would have. It was great to just chill with some friends, have a couple drinks and share some laughs. Some great things have been happening in Zach & Kelly's lives lately. Zach recently landed a great job and they just closed and moved into their new house. It's awesome to see good things happening in their lives. Zach has been a great friend to me and I couldn't be happier for them. I can't wait to check out their new crib, try some of the delicious grub he can cook up and maybe even become a fan of good wine.

Later that evening, we retired at the Hampton Inn and it was a great ending to the perfect day.

That's Saturday in a nutshell.

Scratch Test Dummy

After spending the weekend sulking and feeling sorry for myself about my less than acceptable result at the Fire Hill Criterium I decided I needed to do something about it. First thing Monday morning I called the Oklahoma Allergy & Asthma Clinic and was hoping they would be able to get me in sometime within the next couple of weeks. As fate would have it, they just had just received a cancellation for 9:45 that morning and I was more than happy to fill it.

I spent the next four hours of my day undergoing asthma and allergy tests. For the first time, in probably my life, I was happy to spend some time with a doctor. I have known for the last two years that I have asthma but here lately it has been really bad. Probably due to the fact that my allergies have been worse than usual. I don't have any problems on just a normal day to day basis but any time I'm under exertion it's like someone is strangling me and I'm left gasping for air. It doesn't matter if it's jogging, climbing stairs, or riding my bike if it's a hard effort I'm at a loss and usually waiting several minutes to recover. This is not a good thing in a criterium race when a majority of the race is spent jumping, accelerating out of corners, and pretty much red lining the entire race. I knew at Fire Hill my race was over before we hit the hill the first time. For those of you who weren't at Fire Hill or know the course, there's about a 200 meter straight to a sharp right hand turn up a hill, so in those short 200 m's I was toast. The jump off the line left me "breathless" so to speak. It didn't matter how hard I tried I couldn't get my breathing under control. It sucked. I don't think I have felt more disappointed in myself in a race than that day. I spent the whole drive home thinking and being pissed off at everyone. I hate failure, failure at anything not just on a bike. I love racing but for the rest of Saturday and some of Sunday I really considered just giving it all up and forgetting about it. If I was going to have to race with a limitation like this, it wasn't worth it to me. I'm not going to race and just hope to finish, I'm racing with the hope of winning or helping one of my teammates win. I wasn't even able to help them in that race, they did excellent and I wish I was part of that.

Then, I guess I don't know what happened but I stopped looking at it in such a bad way and started thinking maybe I could fix this. Maybe if I went to a specialist who knew what I was talking about something could be done. I started feeling motivated again, this is just something new to overcome. This is like it's own race. So, Monday morning at 8 a.m. I dialed up the Clinic and BAM they had an opening for me. Call me crazy, but I think God wants me to race my bike. Maybe it was just luck or coincidence or maybe it was someone saying, "don't give up on yourself just yet."

I'm pretty behind in my posting, so stay tuned. I've got some great pics of Addi's birthday, our trip to the zoo and a post I've been meaning to write for the last month about some great things that have happened in my life.

Definition

When I define myself as a person, I think of myself as these three things. Husband, Amie and I have married for almost 7 years now. Father, I have two beautiful daughters, Addi will be three years old in just a few days and Emily who just passed the six weeks mark. Cyclist, but I think of myself as more than just a cyclist, I race bikes. Apparently I have been trying my best to be my best at all three and have fallen short at all of them. I am not the person who is content with doing something 99%, it's all or nothing. I don't want to be the second best husband, father or cyclist...I want to be my best and right now that's not the case. I don't even have the words for exactly how I feel. I don't want/need anyones sympathy, I feel sorry enough for myself without anyone elses help.

For the last three years I have raced bikes. I've had some moderate success, I was by no means the best but I was competitive. That's gone. Where did it go, I don't know. I still get up crazy ass early and spend my mornings on my trainer and for the most part complete all my workouts as specified. But come race day it's just not there. I'm getting dropped by people that I could of easily kept up with last season. It is very demoralizing. I have been very fortunate this season to get some great sponsors, a brand new team and some great teammates. I had all these ideas, hopes, goals for myself and my team. Well my team is doing great, unfortunately I haven't been a part of that success. I'm not the person that will show up to a race only to fall off the back. I do have a little pride. I'm also not the person to become the washed up racer. I'll hang all my shit up before I let that happen. I don't want to ride a bike, I want to race my bike.

To be honest I really don't know what my problem is. I don't get a lot of rest, but I never have. So, I don't think that's my problem. I'm sure it has it's place in the equation but it's not the cause. I'm having a little bit of problem with my breathing. I find myself short of breath after the first few initial jumps and by the time I recover from that it's too late. Maybe I need to go harder in my warm up and get things more opened up. Maybe I need to get to the doctor and see what is going on. I have a great coach, so I know fitness and being ready for my races isn't an issue. It's something other than that.

Giving your best is all anyone can ask out of you, what I hate is that right now I'm not able to give my best. I've had a lot of crap going through my head over the last couple of weeks and maybe it's all just eating away at me.

HAPPY EASTER!

Have a Happy Easter.

Artwork provided by Addison Lynlee Hodges.

Proud

I'm pretty sure that Addi is the proudest big sister in all the land. It's hard to believe that in just a few weeks she'll be three.

Yesterday

This morning, like any other morning, I got up early and hit the trainer. I had my iPod ready to go along with the third disc from the 2008 Giro. I had my iPod on shuffle and didn't pay any attention to what was going to play, and then it started. I'm not going to say what song, but it brought back so many memories of my life from the past 8 years. It was like a highlight real of Chad & Amie's happiest moments. It's not often that I get to sit down and just think, heck if you ask Amie, it's not often that I remember anything that's not work, bike or a specific date related. So, this was a special moment for me. I am so thankful for my beautiful wife and the life we've shared together over the last, almost, 8 years now. We have had our good times and our bad times but hopefully she remembers more good than bad. She has been my best friend, sometimes my only friend, and a huge inspiration to me. We have brought two beautiful girls into this world both of which are the loves of our lives. Amie has blessed my life and continues to do so each and every day.

Amie, thank you for sharing your life with me. Your smile makes the worst of days wonderful. I love you with all my heart and would be lost without you.